


How to Kiss Your Crush in Five Minutes or Less

by Taliax



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Identity Reveal, Angst and Humor, Episode: s03 Desperada, F/M, Hot Mess Adrien Agreste, Hot Mess Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Idiots in Love, Ladrien | Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Identity Reveal, Romance, Shameless Kissing, Snake Adrien Agreste | Aspik, it starts out with angst sort of but i u-turned out of that pretty quick, the working title was "ladrien but with twenty percent less shame" if that says anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22182397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taliax/pseuds/Taliax
Summary: He just needed to know if Ladybug needed Chat Noir.  He didn't expect to learn just how much she wanted Adrien.This would be the best five minutes of his life, if he didn't expect her to forget it.(Set during Desperada.)
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 118
Kudos: 788
Collections: Tali Brand Reveal Fics





	How to Kiss Your Crush in Five Minutes or Less

**Author's Note:**

> Time is an illusion so they’re both 17 and each season lasted 1 year. I do what I want

“We now have five—” 

“This isn’t _working.”_ Adrien tried to claw at his hair, but was met with the scaly material of his new suit. It itched, like the tight hood held in all the sweat and dandruff of the—weeks? _Months?—_ he’d spent rewinding the past five minutes.

25,912 times. That _was_ months, wasn’t it? Not that it mattered; time had lost meaning by the thousandth try. 

And yet he kept counting. Couldn’t _stop_ counting, couldn’t forget, not when she evaporated to golden dust over and over again, a thousand different ways, a thousand different wide eyes and shocked gasps— 

How was she still so surprised, every time? How could she continue to trust him?

(She didn’t remember, of course, but surely she could _feel_ it. He would only disappoint her.)

“Adrien…? Did we not make it?”

“No, we didn’t,” he muttered, digging his nails into his arms through the suit, missing the claws of his usual transformation. “Not this time, not the last _thousand_ times…”

 _“Thousand…?”_ Ladybug gasped.

He turned his back to keep her from seeing the tears rolling down his cheeks. It wasn’t the first time he’d cried. That had been attempt 213. Her fingers had felt like silk as she brushed away the water clinging to his lashes.

He couldn’t afford to let her do that again. Couldn’t afford to be putty in her hands, when he needed all his willpower to escape this loop—to free them both.

His arms wrapped tightly around himself. This suit was so much _colder_ than Chat Noir’s. He missed the black leather; he missed _Plagg;_ he missed when his job was to run into danger for his Lady, when _she_ wasn’t the one vanishing over and over and over and over and over and over and—

_“Adrien!”_

Suddenly Ladybug was in front of him, catching him as he collapsed to his knees, body shaking. 

“You—you’re—what’s wrong? What happened? Have you really been…?”

He bit the inside of his cheek, but with all of his strength, he managed not to look up into those soft blue eyes, eyes that had never looked at Chat Noir with the same kind of affection she directed at Aspik. When all else failed, when he vowed _only one more try,_ those eyes were the ambrosia that sustained him, kept him coming back for another taste.

“You can take a break, as much time as you need,” she assured him in one rushed breath.

 _As much time as you need._ She had no idea. She didn’t remember the hundred rest breaks he’d already taken, eight of which he’d spent wrapped in her arms. 

He’d been held more in the past month of the time loop than he had in the past year of his regular life. Would it really be such a problem if he let her, one more time…?

_No, Adrien, focus! You have to ask her before you do something stupid again!_

“Or… you can stop, if it’s too much,” she whispered, her fingertips just a breath away from where he clutched his knees to his chest. “I never meant to hurt you, Adrien.”

There was no point in telling her his superhero name would’ve been Aspik. She’d just forget in moments. And hearing his real name from her lips… that was one treasure he couldn’t deny himself.

His shoulders shook as he released a deep breath. _Could_ he stop? No, he could never leave his Lady, especially when he knew she really _would_ be gone without Aspik’s power. Chat could take one hit for her, but that wouldn’t be enough without Second Chance.

But still, he had to be sure.

“Do you… do you really think we don’t need Chat Noir?” His voice cracked pathetically.

It was the only variable he could think of to change their fate. He’d tried everything—and after 25912 times, he really meant _everything—_ except for attempting the mission as Chat. Maybe he should’ve thought of it sooner, but her Lucky Charm had led her to Adrien. And it wasn’t like he had a good excuse for why Adrien and Chat Noir couldn’t be in the same place at the same time.

Her mouth hung open for a moment before she answered. 

“Why—do you think we _don’t_ need him?”

Of course. She didn’t remember the first time, when she’d decided Aspik was good enough. That they’d make an awesome team.

(If he had to listen to Plagg say that again, he would _scream.)_

(Then again, he’d thought that the last two hundred forty-two times, and he’d only cracked twice.)

“It doesn’t matter what I think,” Adrien said, searching for her answer in the narrow arc of her brows. “Do you think we need Chat Noir for this mission?”

She bit her lip, eyes darting away guiltily before she sighed. “I _know_ we need Chat Noir. I… didn’t make us start without him, did I? Our team would be lost without him.”

The breath finally returned to his lungs. She needed him. _She needed Chat._ He wasn’t replaceable after all—not even by himself.

“No, it was my fault,” he explained, because aside from that first time, it had always been his suggestion to go ahead. Five minutes didn’t leave time to wait on a hero who would never show. “I was… overeager. I might have wanted to impress you…”

She wouldn’t remember his admission, but it still took a weight off of his shoulders to be honest with her.

She giggled at that. “You? Wanted to impress _me?”_

“Heh… pretty embarrassing, huh?” He scratched at the side of his head where the itchiness was flaring up again. 

He knew what he needed to do now. Ladybug needed Chat Noir; they’d just have to find someone else to use the snake miraculous. Luka, maybe; he was hiding nearby and would probably take well to the lyre weapon. He should use Second Chance one more time, so she wouldn’t remember this conversation and potentially put the pieces of his identity together.

“No no, it’s not!” Ladybug waved her hands quickly. “I’m just—it’s funny. Usually _I’m_ the one trying to impress you… I mean! I _have_ to be impressive, I mean, I’m a superhero, right?”

He blinked at the flush peeking out from under her mask. For all the times he’d Second Chanced, he didn’t remember seeing her so flustered.

(Granted, any time she might have been, she’d gone up in gold dust too quickly to tell.)

His gaze flickered upwards at that thought, but Desperada never found them in the sewers. That, at least, was one constant he could rely on.

He wiped the back of his hand across his damp eyes and smiled. 

“You never stop impressing me, Ladybug.”

Her blush only deepened. “I… thank you, Adrien.”

Her smile could’ve melted him on the spot. How was he supposed to reset time while she looked at him like he’d hung the stars in her sky?

(He couldn’t, obviously. But he still had four minutes.)

This was his time before he convinced her to take back the miraculous. For as traumatizing as it had been to watch her disappear again, again, again, he was going to miss constantly being by her side. It had been so long since he’d had to be alone…

“Is there anything else worrying you?” She asked, still crouched in front of him. “Chat will be back soon, I’m sure of it. But in the meantime, whatever you need… you’ve been here for me for so long, even if I don’t remember it. Let me be here for you.”

“You already have,” he smiled, allowing himself the extra bit of transparency he could only afford when he knew it would soon be erased. “You’re here for me every day… my Lady.”

She giggled, leaning a fraction closer to him. “Maybe _that’s_ why Chat never came around to help us. He was probably jealous of you stealing his lines.”

If he leaned into her space too, well, she smelled better than the surrounding sewer.

“It’s not stealing if I mean it.”

 _Laying it on a little thick, aren’t you?_ He could almost hear Plagg say. 

But Ladybug didn’t laugh, or push him back by the nose, or put any distance between them at all. She just stared, stunned—maybe too shocked that he appropriated a moment usually shared between her and her _real_ partner.

“A-and I really don’t think Chat Noir has any reason to be jealous of me,” he mumbled in embarrassment.

Chat Noir didn’t let Ladybug down 25,912 times. Sure, he made plenty of mistakes, but never like _this._ Maybe Plagg was the real hero behind Chat Noir. Or maybe it was the fact that Ladybug knew his identity, had chosen _him,_ that never allowed him to be completely professional.

(Okay, so he was never _completely_ professional, but normally he kept his head on straighter than this.)

For once, though, Ladybug wasn’t calling for him to keep his distance. A laugh escaped her as she said, “Besides the fact that your lines actually work?”

There was a moment of silence before she processed what she’d said. Her hands flew to cover her mouth, but by then he was already beaming brighter than the sun.

“My lines _work?_ On _you?”_

If it wasn’t for the black spots on her mask, it might have blended in with her face. “I—I wasn’t supposed to tell you that!”

“But I call you my Lady all the time! Why would…” he trailed off, the cogs in his brain turning. It was probably nothing but a naive, optimistic hope, but—well, she _had_ chosen him. _Adrien_ him. And Ladybug never blushed so much around Chat Noir…

“There’s no way I’m that lucky,” he whispered, tentatively reaching for her hand. “Is there?”

But while he’d been putting those pieces together, she had apparently come to a conclusion of her own.

 _“Chat?”_ She whispered back.

“Oh— _crap,”_ he muttered, instinctively reaching for his wrist. She didn’t want to know his identity, he wasn’t supposed to tell; he’d broken that rule once during this eternal time loop but he hadn’t meant to do it again— 

What if she was disappointed? Or mad he hadn’t told her sooner? What if she realized she didn’t like him after all, now that she knew he was her partner?

Ladybug slid her grip down his wrist, covering the miraculous. “You’re him. You’re—no _wonder_ Chat never showed.”

“You said you needed me,” he tried to explain, his voice pleading _please don’t hate me_. _“Adrien_ me. I couldn’t… I couldn’t let you down.”

_But I did anyway. So just let go, and I’ll fix this, I swear, I’ll convince you to pick someone else, I just need—_

Her hand cradling his head. Her fingers tightening around his hand.

Her lips, suddenly pressing against his mouth.

He gasped, leaving her room to take his bottom lip with hers, and— 

He was dreaming. The time loop had finally driven him mad. That was the only explanation.

It didn’t stop from pouring everything he had into that two-second kiss. Too short, _way_ too short. If this was a hallucination wouldn’t it at least continue a _little_ longer?

“I’ve _always_ needed you.” She stared right through his core, and he couldn’t help but believe it. “Adrien _and_ Chat.”

“Uh,” he said eloquently. His brain might as well be slush between his ears. Ladybug had kissed him, _Ladybug had kissed him—_ on _purpose—!_

“Oh my gosh—did I really just do that?” She smacked her hands to her flaming cheeks, worrying him. Was the kiss just a heat-of-the-moment impulse to make him feel better? She wouldn’t go that far just to cheer him up, right? 

“I just meant—I’ve _always_ needed you, Chat _and_ Adrien, and I probably should’ve just said that instead of _jumping you_ —bad M—Ladybug! You’re supposed to be catching the akuma, not kissing Adrien! _OhmygoshIkissedAdrien_ and Adrien’s Chat Noir and—you _did_ want to kiss me, right?” 

She stared at him with something on the verge of panic.

“I still want to kiss you,” he blurted.

She squeaked. Kissing her was probably _not_ the best thing to do right after bombing her with his identity—but she’d kissed _him!_ A lovesick smile broke out on his face just thinking about it. He could’ve died and gone to heaven right then, if he hadn’t realized—

“But you won’t remember it.” He sat back, knees curling up to his chest. “I’ve got to use my Second Chance. I should’ve been more careful. You didn’t want to know my identity.”

“But what if I did? If we could tell each other…”

He shook his head. He might be naturally optimistic, but he knew better than to get his hopes _that_ high. 

“You know I’ve always wanted to tell you, LB. Now more than ever. But you’ve always said we can’t. You don’t have to take it back just because we kissed.”

“Then you’re just going to—I’m going to _forget_ this?” She looked up, and his heart shattered at the despair in her eyes. But then she shook her head. “I guess I know how you felt after Dark Cupid and Oblivio now…”

 _Oblivio!_ Now he understood why she must have kissed him then—she must have found out who he was! So—this wasn’t a one time thing! She really _did_ like Adrien Agreste—she liked _him!_

“...But _you_ won’t forget this time.” She tapped her lips thoughtfully— _oh don’t make him look there, it was hard enough not to kiss her again already_ —before slaying him with a smirk. “It would be fair, since I remember Dark Cupid…”

His heart skipped. What she saying—?

She said it with her mouth on his. With her fingers threading through his, only to press him back onto the concrete, his hands pinned near his head as she leaned over his hips. For half a second he realized that meant he was lying on the ground in a sewer, but all he could smell and taste was _Ladybug_ and they could’ve been in a dumpster or in front of his father or even on the moon for all he cared. It wasn’t like he was using the oxygen anyway. 

“Ladybug…” he murmured against her lips, his hands squeezing hers tighter as she practically straddled him. They should probably talk. But that thought slipped away as her lips slanted against his again. Again, again, again; he’d go through another thousand time loops for the taste of her, for how her breath filled his lungs.

It was distracting enough that he barely noticed the beeping of his bracelet. The bracelet that, conveniently, was still pinned by Ladybug’s hand.

Her lips pulled back, and he thought she was about to let him go, to tell him it was time. Longing already pooled in the pit of his stomach. How was he going to live with this memory when she didn’t share it? She’d never believe him. He’d never be able to taste her breath again— 

But she didn’t move off of him. Instead, with one silk whisper, she spun his whole world off its axis.

“I love you, Kitty.”

“You— you do?” He stared up into her eyes, their noses still close enough to brush. “Does that mean… _I’m_ the boy…?”

Maybe he should’ve pieced that together already, but in his defense, making out with Ladybug kind of interfered with his critical thinking.

“Yes, Adrien. It was you. It was always you.” 

Right. Definitely dreaming.

She leaned down like she was about to claim his lips again—but at that moment, a white flash tingled over him.

Oh.

_Oh._

_Crap._

The sensation of Ladybug’s suit against his now-bare hands consumed him like wildfire. He gulped and tried to focus on something that _wouldn’t_ make him spontaneously combust.

Sass was breathing hard, and if he was anything like Plagg, he’d want some food—he certainly deserved it. Speaking of Plagg, the other kwami flew out from his hiding place around the corner, took one look at Adrien and Ladybug’s position, and retched.

“Come on, Sass. These two are gonna be useless for a while. I think I smelled some cheese in the locker room back there.”

Not immediately demanding the Camembert in Adrien’s shirt pocket was probably the nicest thing Plagg had ever done for him. He would’ve thanked his kwami then, but Ladybug’s face demanded his attention. After a brief blink of surprise, she just smiled and untangled her hand from his to stroke his cheek.

“Nice to see your face again, handsome boy.”

His jaw dropped. Every time he thought he couldn’t fall any more head over heels, she found another way to completely wreck him.

How did she have the brainpower to flirt? Shouldn’t she be freaking out? It was too late, he couldn’t go back now, she was going to remember this forever— 

And unless he was imagining things, she looked a little smug about it.

“Wait.” His eyes narrowed. “Did you do that on purpose?”

“Whaaaat?” She sat up—well, as much as she could while still straddling him, he realized with a blush—and crossed her arms. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You did! You totally did!” He pushed himself up too, so she ended up sitting in his lap. To his eternal glee, she made no move to rectify that situation. “You couldn’t bear to forget kissing me, could you?”

He waggled his eyebrows, and she flushed furiously.

“I—no, absolutely not, that would be completely irresponsible.”

“As irresponsible as giving a miraculous to the boy you love?”

She groaned and dropped her head into her hands. “I’m a _mess,_ Kitty. You have no idea.”

“I promise I’m not much better, LB.” He nuzzled the side of her head over her shoulder as his arms squeezed her middle. How did he get this lucky? “Now you can be my mess.”

She froze, and he backpedalled quickly. “I mean, if you want to be—I thought considering the uh, making out, and love confession…”

 _“Yes!”_ She burst. “Sorry. I’m just. Trying very _very_ hard not to scream right now. _Ohmygoshthisishappening—!”_

He laughed; he couldn’t help it. He knew his Lady was amazing, and strong, and smart, and not _perfect_ but close enough for him—but he’d never seen her this _adorable._

“Don’t laugh!” She glared and punched his arm. “I’ve been trying to ask you out for two years now!”

“Two— _years!?”_ He nearly choked. “But that’s—I’ve been trying to get you to date me that long too! I think I would’ve noticed if you were in love with me!”

He’d always thought he’d know his Lady on sight—but she apparently knew him well enough to spend _two years_ trying to get him to notice her. Of course, it could’ve been a celebrity crush, but he doubted Ladybug of all people would fall for him just because he was pretty.

She laughed so hard she nearly fell out of his lap. Probably would have, if he hadn’t been holding on to her so tightly.

“Bugaboooooo,” he pouted. “Now _you’re_ laughing at me.”

“I’m not laughing _at_ you,” she said between gasping breaths. “Okay, maybe I am a little.”

“You wound me,” he whispered near her ear. “At least tell me why so I can decide if I deserve it.”

She twisted so they were nose-to-nose again, but she bit her lip nervously.

“How do you feel about dating Marinette Dupain-Cheng?”

If he’d thought her kisses had stolen the breath from his lungs— _man._ At this rate, he was never going to breathe again. They’d put on his obituary: _Adrien Agreste. Died from overexposure to Ladybug._ Who was _Marinette Dupain-Cheng—!_

Okay, maybe he did deserve the laughter. So _that_ was why Plagg had wanted him to go out with Marinette when she confessed her love to Chat... though he had a feeling there was more to that story, now that he knew who she was.

She was Ladybug. She was _Marinette_. 

And now that he knew he wasn’t betraying his first love, he could admit that Marinette hadn’t been _“just a friend”_ in a very long time.

“Amazing.” He kissed her cheek. “Ten out of ten.” Her nose. “Would date again.”

She laughed, making it a little hard to kiss her lips, but he managed.

“You can’t date me again. We haven’t dated a first time.”

“A tragedy that must be fixed immediately,” he said, nuzzling her again. “Date me? Please?”

“How was I ever too nervous to form a complete sentence around you? You’re such a _dork.”_

“Your dork, if you say yes.”

“I already said yes!”

“Then why did you say we weren’t dating!?”

“Because we… ugh. I still hate it when you’re right,” she grumbled, only looking _more_ adorable, and the way her lower lip stuck out was entirely too kissable.

So, of course, he kissed her.

Time had become meaningless twenty thousand Second Chances ago, but now he fully appreciated every second they spent sharing breaths. The fact that they weren’t on a five-minute timer was definitely a plus too. He would be perfectly content to cradle her here forever.

“Uh,” a vaguely bewildered voice startled Marinette into pulling back. Adrien’s lips trailed after her for a second before he looked up.

Luka was standing a few meters away. Staring at them. At Ladybug in Adrien’s lap, her fingers still tangled in his hair, his hands gripping her hips.

Oops.

“...Did I miss something?”

XXX

“Pound it!” Ladybug and Chat Noir said in unison. 

Luka, who was panting with one hand braced against his knee, almost missed the three-way fistbump. 

Twenty tries. _Twenty tries,_ before they finally succeeded. How did Paris’s two heroes normally defeat the akumas? Their hearts had practically been blasting the Jonas Brothers’ _Lovebug_ the whole battle as they traded breathless stares. 

But they’d pulled it off. And Luka had come out of it with a somewhat… good? Bad? Some kind of revelation:

Adrien Agreste must be Chat Noir. Marinette’s heart would be playing _Boulevard of Broken Dreams_ when she found out he was dating Ladybug _._

But, well, Luka guessed he might have a chance with her now.

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t worry I’m sure Marinette and Adrien get their acts together eventually lol


End file.
